How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize