love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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