allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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