think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize