Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
