Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
