Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
