bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
