So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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