Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
