is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
