his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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