I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
