We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
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Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
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