I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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