I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize