I can't watch pbs sober anymore
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
