Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The power of my boobs compel you
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize