oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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