Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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