I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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