pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize