So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
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