yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
