I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize