you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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