Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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