i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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