she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
