and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
