Plan B is the new Plan A
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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