How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
