Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
