I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
