and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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