ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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