you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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