neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Blow job season was short but glorious.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
