If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize