goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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