My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
