Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
