I'm drive I can fine osifer
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Who died my cat blue again?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
