We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dick very happy bro
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
