dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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