I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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