He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
