Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
