I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
