Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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