I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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