Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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