Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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