I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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