This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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