I smell stomach acid.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
