I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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